BEAUTY PHOBIAS

You know, for someone who's been writing about makeup for more than a year now, I sure have a lot of beauty phobias. TALK ABOUT UNQUALIFIED.

I've got this crippling sense of self-awareness you see, so much that as consequence, I'm pretty awkward in real life. And, I've previously mentioned my lipstick phobia in this post, but ladies and gents, that's just the tip of the iceberg.

________________________________________________________________________

1 | The Red Lip



EXPECTATION: People are staring at my lips? WHY ARE THEY STARING MY LIPS?? IS MY LIP COLOUR ALL OVER MY FACE?? AM I THE JOKER??? I CAN COLOUR WITHIN THE LINES BEYOND PRESCHOOL LEVEL I SWEAR. Am I at least ~slaying~ in this lip colour though??

REALITY: I think to some extent, everyone is afraid of the red lip. Sometimes when I'm feeling ~ever-so-confident~, I dab a bit of red lipstick on, and I have to say, I look/feel like a ~BAMF~ (Bad Ass M-----f--ker). I even once got a compliment from my mom, "That (red) lipstick suits you".  NEVERMIND THAT I HAD THE SHEEREST AMOUNT ON MY LIPS, BUT I'M ON MY WAY, Y'KNOW?

2 | Nail Polish



THOUGHT PROCESS: This colour is bangin' but why are my nails so oddly shaped? I BLAME 10 YEAR-OLD ME WHO COULDN'T CUT HER NAILS PROPERLY. WHY DOESN'T THIS POLISH EVEN SET PROPERLY? FABRIC IMPRINTS DON'T COUNT AS NAIL ART. -shoves polish bottle into depths of drawer, where it is found a year later and by then has become unusable (i.e. separated gloop)-

REALITY: Well, most of the thought process is true. AND, I painted my nails black once. SANS BASECOAT. Black nail polish is all fun and games until you realise it stains for a month and you look like you've freshly clawed yourself out of a grave.

3 | Bright + Glittery Eyeshadows

THOUGHT PROCESS: The eyes are the window to the soul. Too bad I'm dead inside. -slaps on 50 shades of black-

REALITY: Coloured lower liner is actually really pretty, on like, everyone (scientifically proven by me). While I may not be bold enough to pile on fuschia/neon yellow/electric green in my lids, I can at least slap it along the lower lashline to prove that I'm at least somewhat of an exciting person.

4 | Curling Hair



THOUGHT PROCESS: WHAT IF I DON'T LEAVE MY HAIR ON THE CURLING IRON FOR LONG ENOUGH? WHAT IF I LEAVE IT ON FOR TOO LONG AND SINGE HALF MY HAIR OFF??....holy sht the smell of burning hair smells good. WHY ARE MY CURLS FALLING OUT EVEN THOUGH I USED HALF A CAN OF HAIRSPRAY?? WHERE'S MY HAIRPORN MOMENT????

REALITY: I really really like the look of wavy hair/loose curls on me...but they last half hour on me, tops. But in that half hour, I like to pretend that I'm a ~BABE~. Was that half hour worth me risking my fingers getting burnt because I'm an amateur?? I don't know, man Absolutely.

_____________________________________________________________________

So, these are just a few from the truckload of beauty phobias I have. But I do have to say that after blogging and reading blogs for years now, I have started dabbling and experimenting in colours and techniques I'm usually not accustomed to. After all, at the end of the day, it's just makeup and you can easily wipe it all off, right? (...don't even get me started on my fear of permanent eyebrows)

What are your beauty phobias?